


Daddy Issue and Older Men

by astartelydianna



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Assistant Darcy Lewis, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, F/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 14:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5969749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astartelydianna/pseuds/astartelydianna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A conversation between Darcy, Tony and Bruce about Darcy's love life leads to a date for Bruce.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daddy Issue and Older Men

Daddy Issues

It had been a pretty rubbish Wednesday, not awful exactly but certainly not great. First Darcy had not been able to have coffee before work because the machine was out of order, something which in a Stark funded building, should never happen. Secondly, she had had to spend the entire day in the filing closet behind Jane’s lab to find a bunch of paperwork that Jane wanted to double check. She was dusty and she was tired, all she wanted was to relax on a couch and a big TV.

"Darcy, what are you doing still here?" She heard a familiar voice ask, as she entered the rec room on the top floor. She noticed Tony sat in his usual chair and then Bruce, who had spoken, sat in another chair.

"Um...I can go..." She said feeling awkward all of a sudden. Normally when she came up here on a weekday evening it was just Tony around. Bruce was usually in his own rooms or the labs, he didn't seem to socialise that much without encouragement. If they were having a guys night, she didn't really want to ruin it.

"No, I didn't mean...I wasn't trying to say that you shouldn't be here." He said quickly. "I just thought...it's after work and you'd have plans with friends or something."

"You saying that I'm not your friend?" She asked, looking slightly offended and amused at the same time.

"No, no." He blurted out quickly. “That’s not what I meant.”

"Keep digging Brucie boy, I'm sure you'll hit China eventually." Tony smirked, before waving her over. "Hey Darce."

"What I meant was, surely you have friends more fun than us, you know...your own age." Bruce said more carefully, as she got herself a can of soda from behind the bar.

"Do I look like the type of girl who did the girlfriend, hair braiding thing like ever? I'll give you a hint, no." She replied with a smirk. "and have you seen the guys my age? Really? I'm pretty sure that any guy under thirty that isn't gay, ridiculously fat or stupid or ugly and has a job is taken. Really I've dated guys my age, they sucked. That's the reason I started dating women my age." 

"Good girl!" Tony applauded. "I like a girl who's flexible."

"Y-you're..."

"Not gay, I'm just greedy according to Jane." Darcy shrugged, walking back over to where they sat. "Anyway, the women my age were an improvement but I don't seem to get on well with them long term. So I started looking around at the older men, funny thing is there isn't many of those available either."

"Not many men in their thirties or forties with jobs, not gay and willing to date someone in their twenties? Clearly you haven't been looking very hard." Tony snorted. "I think every man over twenty-eight wants a woman a decade younger than him."

"Yeah well I've only been in New York a few months, give me time to catch one." She shrugged. "Although I suppose the older guy thing isn't new because I always had a thing for my math teacher..."

"Daddy issues." Tony said sagely.

"I'm sorry but seriously?" Darcy snorted, before pointing at each of the men in turn. "You have been in the headlines forever and you made me read your entire Shield file, before I was allowed in the same lab space as you. So I can truthfully say that out of the people in this room, I think I have the least daddy issues!"

"She's not wrong." Bruce commented with a wince.

"I didn't have a dad to get issues with." She snorted, leaning on the arm of Tony's chair. "Believe me from what I know of him, I'm better off not having him as a dad than loads of people are having a rubbish one that sticks around."

"Probably a fair assessment." Tony nodded, his free arm hugging her waist fondly. "That's why I adopted you."

"You what?!" Bruce blinked in horror.

"Um...chill genius, surely you are aware that I am not actually a minor and therefore can't be adopted for real?" Darcy laughed, sitting across Tony's lap and taking his glass from his hand. Bruce watched in surprise as the billionaire allowed her to tip a bit of his whiskey into her soda can before returning it to his hand.

"Of course," he said quickly, shaking his head. "It's just...with Tony you can never really be sure."

"Nah he's just my non sexual sugar daddy, he buys me things and lets me play with his toys and gives awesome hugs." She explained, hugging him fondly. 

"That still seems kind of creepy." Bruce murmured. He ducked as Darcy tossed a cushion at him.

"It's nice to have someone that feels like family sometimes, even if they're not really." She said quietly. 

"If I'm dad does that make Bruce like an Uncle?" Tony asked. 

"No Tony. That's just weird." She laughed.

"Hey, how is that weird?" The billionaire frowned. "You can have a pretend adoptive dad but a fake uncle you draw the line at?"

"Because I had a sex dream about him once and I've never had a sex dream about you." She said patting his shoulder.

"Really, never?" He asked sounding kind of offended. "But everyone wants to have sex with me, I'm the younger, cooler version of Hugh Hefner."

"Nah, sorry, can't picture it." She wrinkled her nose.

"Sex dream?" Bruce squeaked out.

"Oops, forgot you were there. Sorry but yeah I totally had a sex dream about you once, so you can't be an uncle." She laughed.

"Really?" He asked in surprise. "About me?"

"I'm offended that you find Fluffy over there more attractive than me." Tony muttered.

"You're attractive Tony, very attractive. Just not to me." Darcy placated him, patting his chest. "And yes Bruce, about you, really. You're sexy, deal with it."

"So why aren't you sleeping with Bruce?" Tony suggested. Bruce promptly choked on his mouthful of drink and proceeded to cough for air.

"Because I was told that he couldn't do it without turning all green and smashy, that's why." She explained, as if it were obvious.

"Wait, who said that?" Bruce blinked, suddenly curious what rumours had been circulating the tower about him.

"Um everyone says that dude, is that not true?" She asked.

"No, not even...just no." He said shaking his head, his hand raising to rub across his eyes.

"Oh. Serves me right for listening to work gossip then huh?" She snorted.

"People really think that?" He cringed, raising his head to look at them.

“Probably didn’t help when you turned down the leggy red head that propositioned you last month.” Tony commented.

“Probably because I generally want women to know how to spell their own names.” Bruce retorted defensively. “So now people think I’m a monk?”

"Sorry." She offered sympathetically. "However I am completely willing to let you disprove that theory, if you want. Repeatedly."

"Man problem fixed, you're welcome." Tony said, prodding Darcy in the ribs.

"I don't think terrifying Bruce into his chair counts as fixing my love life, Stark." She pointed out. "Bruce, don't panic, I'm not going to force myself on you. We can change the subject now."

"Have you seen you?" Bruce blurted out, inwardly cringing that his mouth had opened before his brain had caught up.

"What?" Darcy blinked.

"I think that was Bruce Banner terminology for 'You're hot' but I could be wrong, I don't speak fluent." Tony murmured.

"I'm beginning to feel like I should leave this conversation before it gets any more dangerous." Bruce cringed, getting to his feet.

"You're not going green are you?" Darcy asked. "Because that coffee table is glass, so probably not the best room for it."

"I'm not going to turn green." He replied, turning back to her with a horrified look. "Although I'm slightly concerned that your only fear was for the table."

"You didn't squish me last time you went all Hulked out, you aren't going to squish me this time." She shrugged. "If you're done here anyway, do you want to go get coffee?"

"I don't drink coffee." He replied automatically.

"I'm a lab assistant Bruce, one which brings you tea at least a few times a week, I know that." She deadpanned. "Coffee being euphemism for any beverage which requires us to go out together and have me flirt with you until you have sex with me. Since I can spell my own name and everything." She said narrowing her eyes at him. 

"Oh." He mouthed. "Now's good."


End file.
